You’ve got to be ready. Prepared. Selecting the right conker is important, but selecting the right moves is critical if you want to survive a street battle.
Unnerve your opponent with a Super Chopper and land the last humiliating strike with a Sidewinder. Victory dance = essential.
Anyone with an ounce of fighting prowess will tell you that winners prepare; winners take care of themselves; winners look good; winners act like winners.
Preparation is key to winning any battle - especially a conker battle.
Whether you’re preparing for the fight of your life at the World Conker Championships, or battling down your local boozer, you’ve got to invest time in looking good.
So prepare to win . . .
There’s no more relaxing a time to battle than after a wholesome & well-lubricated dinner. Meat, Bordeaux and ideally a dram of Scotch to oil the conker cogs.
True Gentlemen do it dressed in their finery; bow-ties mandatory; spurs an added tactical bonus if stampsies is required.
Like a fine wine, age is a conker’s friend - helping the conker gain in beauty and harden naturally. Conkers age best in cellar conditions - with a constant temperature, good humidity and air flow.
A well-aged conker will darken and shrivel like a raisin - developing deep mahogany crevices, and a sheen from its natural oils. Beauty and battle-ready.
